Bridging as Ritual (2006)

There are those who lament the lack of rituals unique to Unitarian Universalism. The first Bridging Ceremony at a continental event was held at the General Assembly in Spokane, Washington in 1995. Our Bridging Ceremony is a wobbly toddler compared to other rituals found in our own or other faith traditions that have existed for centuries. In many ways, we are still working the kinks out of the Bridging Ceremony, as it develops into annual practice in many of our congregations.

For example, when exactly does a youth “bridge” into young adulthood? Typically, we include youth in our Bridging Ceremony upon graduation from senior high school. But, some youth are only 16 when they earn their diploma. Others may be traditional students, but are not yet emotionally ready to leave the Unitarian Universalist youth community, which serves youth until they turn 20.

Some youth suffer from an embarrassment of riches regarding Bridging. A youth can bridge at the spring district youth conference in April, here at church the next month, again at General Assembly in June, and yet again at Summer Institute in July. Each ceremony includes a very different audience and takes place in a unique locality in time and place.

So, what makes this Bridging Ceremony today important? One key difference is this. When the American Unitarian Association was formed in 1825, its members were individual people. In 1865, Unitarian minister Henry Whitney Bellows led the formation of the National Conference of Unitarian Churches, intended to strengthen the cause of liberal religion. Our Association continues to use the model Bellows crafted, with our membership consisting of over 1,000 congregations in North America.

The Bridging Ceremony celebrates the blossoming of our most precious resources into full adulthood. But, this ritual also honors the dedication, the struggle, and the sacrifice of this church, this religious community to continued growth and to preserving the presence of Unitarian Universalism in our society. Our Bridging Ceremony recognizes the love of parents and families, the commitment of teachers and advisors, and the contributions of time, money, and support of every one of you.
So, today, we honor you, our bridging youth. We express our pride in what you have already accomplished in life and what we know you will accomplish in the future. But, most of all, we celebrate our union of souls that built this particular bridge you now cross, and this community that you enrich by your vibrant presence.

The Many Meanings of Bridging (2005)

The word “bridge” is a speech writer’s dream. The term possesses a tremendous range of meanings, most of which can be adapted to our celebration today. Today, these youth travel from youth…to young adulthood. Today, we build a new spiritual…connection with them. Today, these youth mature in their journey…over the obstacles of adolescence. Today, our community reduces…the gap caused by our different perspectives and experiences. I haven’t quite figured out yet how to make references to the card game or the top of one’s nose, but give me time.

Today, however, I am going to speak of a different kind of bridge. While the actor’s subsequent career saddens us, a powerful role model for my generation was Captain James T. Kirk. Now, don’t get me wrong. My father taught me more about being a husband, a father, and a human being than anyone. But Captain Kirk was just the man. And, although you could find him in Engineering fighting alien intruders, or in Sick Bay drinking Saurian brandy with Dr. McCoy, he was at his peak on the bridge of the Enterprise. Outsmarting hostile Klingons and Romulans, managing the eclectic crew, or just getting the girl, Captain Kirk was the epitome of leadership and command.

The Greek philosopher Plato compared the human mind to a ship on which the sailors had mutinied and locked the captain and the navigator in a cabin. The sailors feel free to steer the ship as they like, but their direction is erratic. The goal of our religious education and youth programming in Unitarian Universalist congregations is to help you free your navigator and captain; to help you build your own bridge deck; and to help you learn how to take command of your ship of life.

Today, you take your ship out of the safe harbor of this church community. But, know that your ship joins a mighty fleet facing the storms together. Today, you steer to ports unknown. But, know that wherever you drop anchor, fellow travelers are there to help you replenish. Today, you leave the nest. But, know that you join a flock soaring to the heights together.

Bridging and Spirituality (2004)

I am currently negotiating a syndication deal for a new reality show to be broadcast on PBS, CNN, Fox News, and CNBC based on my families’ dinner conversations. You see, my family is the perfect political demographic. Tyler is the young conservative and Laura is the tie-dyed in the wool liberal. Ashley is the “everyman,” who listens carefully and then chimes in with an apolitical voice of reason and common sense. I am the jaded Republican, discouraged Democrat, still waiting for the great Independent candidate to unite the millions of American centrists. There is someone there for everyone in the viewing audience to root for – sort of an intellectual’s version of The Osbournes.

Perhaps you are thinking, “That sounds just like my family” (well, forget it, I already own the franchise). You may also be wondering what any of this has to do with our Bridging Ceremony. Several weeks ago, in the midst of one of our gastric Gettysburgs, my wife inferred that I had no faith – that is, faith in the religious sense – a belief in God or some higher power. Now, I generally have no difficulty expressing my opinion on just about any subject. But, this time, I did have some difficulty rallying my forces to rebuff her charge.

I have since thought about it, and I am now prepared to take this opportunity to shore up my ramparts against your assertion. As a person who does not believe in divine entities, or any existence beyond our earthly passage, you are right that I do not have faith in the traditional Western, Judeo-Christian sense. However, I do consider myself a spiritual person.

Do you know those myriad books “for Dummies,” or “Idiot’s Guides to” whatever? Well – get ready, because you will think I am kidding – there is a book titled, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Spirituality for Teens. No, really, I am not making this up. And, believe it or not, it’s not a bad little book. The author, a Presbyterian minister, begins by describing what spirituality is and what spirituality is not. Regarding the latter, he gives the following example.

“Although the Bible is an obvious spiritual tool, it can be used as a weapon to prove religious superiority, a detriment to spirituality. On the flip side, the Bible can be used as a vast resource of inspiration, not indoctrination – a very real spiritual asset. There is the crux of the problem. It all depends on the motivation of the user.”

Like many of you, I came to Unitarian Universalism after rejecting other religions. I experienced first hand the use of religion as a weapon, a tool of indoctrination. Most Unitarian Universalist youth, however, have not had this experience. And yet, even without having experienced what spirituality is not, I can guarantee you that most UU youth are deeply spiritual. They are aware and fully awake to life; they examine the universe without and within; and they visualize the best that they can be.

The author goes on to say that spirituality is not about fear, but about faith. Spirituality points out what you can be and the goodness in others and our world. Spirituality is open to new ideas and has the courage to explore differences of opinion and belief. Spirituality embraces uncertainty and seeks no guarantees. I see the goodness in our youth. In our class, we have explored many varied ideas and learned that life offers us little certainty.

Today, we are welcoming some very special youth into our spiritual community as young adults. These young people have faith in themselves, faith in each other, and faith in us to help them continue their journey along paths to spiritual growth. They are worthy of our faith in them as fellow travelers on that path. They have helped make me a spiritual person; spirituality is all about faith; and I have faith in them as the future leaders of our denomination, our communities, our nation, and our world.

Courage in Crossing the Bridge (2003)

Today, we are gathered here to celebrate an important rite of passage for some very special members of our church. This Bridging Ceremony recognizes our graduating high school seniors who are moving into their young adulthood. Of course, this is just one of many bridges these young people will cross in the years to come. All of you here today can identify with at least some of these bridges, such as marriage, children, continuing education, and career development. We should all look for opportunities to mentor these and other young adults as they traverse the spans that lie in our past. And, I hope that you “bridgers” take advantage of the collective wisdom contained within this religious community. This is one of the few havens in your busy lives where you can know that there are hundreds of kindred spirits who wish you well in life and who love you unconditionally.

I want to tell a story today of a young woman who recently crossed the bridge facing you today. Mimi LaValley grew up and was very active in the youth program here at First Unitarian Church of Pittsburgh and in Ohio-Meadville District youth activities. Mimi is the purest pacifist I have ever met. I couldn’t even get her on my classic “you have a gun and are alone with Hitler in 1942″ example. She would never agree that killing another human being was ever justified. Just a couple of years ago, she bridged from our youth program and is currently a staff member in the UUA Youth Office in Boston.

But, at this moment, Mimi is on the other side of a very different bridge that few of us have ever crossed. Last fall, Mimi was one of many who trespassed onto Fort Benning property in Georgia, protesting the ongoing operations of the School of the Americas, which trains Latin American soldiers in combat, counter-insurgency, and counter-narcotics. Its graduates are alleged to be responsible for some of the worst human rights abuses in Latin America. Unlike the past, the 2002 protestors were not just released, but were tried in federal court. Mimi was sentenced to three months, which she is now serving in a women’s prison in Danbury, Connecticut.

Mimi downplays the experience, telling people that a minimum-security facility isn’t like prisons that we see in the movies. Regardless, I cannot even imagine her sacrifice, what she is going through now, and what this choice will cost her in the future. What I do know, however, is that she crossed a bridge built with the raw materials of our faith. This bridge has a steel foundation of resolve and bravery. Its stones are the building blocks of ethical conduct. The cement binding them together is our Unitarian Universalist history, traditions, and principles.

Whether or not you agree with her rationale or her choice, we can all take home the pride that this church equips its youth with the courage to fully live their principles. This church is not just a stone structure, but a bridge building factory; not only for the youth bridging today and the youth who will follow them in the future, but for each and every one of us.

Gaps in Perception (2002)

Every year, Beloit College in Wisconsin produces a Mindset List, an informal survey of the frame of reference of entering freshmen. The list is intended to help bridge the gap in age between teacher and student that increases annually as faculty age, but freshmen stay eternally 18. It is important for faculty to think about the touchstones and benchmarks of a generation that has grown up with CNN, home computers, AIDS awareness, “Just say no,” and the Bush political dynasty.

The list consists of statements reflecting facts and attitudes typically held by youth born around 1983. Here are some recent entries.

• There has always been Diet Coke.
• Ron Howard and Rob Reiner have always been old, balding film directors.
• Cal Ripken has always played baseball.
• Oprah has always been a national institution.
• They never use carbon paper and don’t know what “cc” or “bcc” mean.
• Grace Kelly, Elvis Presley, Karen Carpenter, John Lennon, and the E.R.A. have always been dead.
• The British Royal family has always behaved badly.
• The Kennedy tragedy was a plane crash, not an assassination.
• Typewriters are quaint antiques.
• Beta is a preview version of software, not a VCR format.
• A .45 is a gun, not a record with a large hole in the center.
• There has always been a hole in the ozone layer.
• They don’t know what the Selective Service is, but men routinely register for it on financial aid forms.
• If they remember the night the Berlin Wall fell, they are probably not sure why it was up in the first place.
• Grenada has always been safe for democracy.
• Watergate is as relevant to their lives as the Teapot Dome scandal.
• They feel more danger from being in school than from possible nuclear war.
• There have always been warnings about second-hand smoke.
• With a life expectancy of 77 years, they anticipate living until about 2060.

As a covenanted, religious community, we can benefit from making ourselves periodically aware of the gaps in perception among us. Acknowledgment of these gaps can help transform them from barriers into points of departure for discussion and understanding. As you reflect on your own mindsets, think of the opportunities available to you to reach out to others within our community – in particular to our youth and children.

The Bridging Ceremony celebrates the transition of our youth from their high school experience into young adulthood. It is a time of tremendous change – and stress – for our youth. It is a time when many of them will leave our particular church community to travel to other cities, into higher education, into careers, and possibly into new families.

The Bridging Ceremony is a rite of passage that welcomes these bright and energetic people into the rewards and responsibilities of adult life. The bridge has two sides. One is childhood and adolescence, where they have become leaders and role models for their younger friends and acquaintances. The other side is a scary and vast frontier of the unknown, full of boundless opportunities and new challenges. Also on the other side is us. We, the adult members of this church community, stand on the other side with our arms open to hug them, our minds prepared to mentor them, and our hearts prepared to live with them.

Keeping our Youth (2001)

The vast majority of adult Unitarian Universalists were raised in another faith tradition. For any number of reasons, they turned away from the church of their youth to ours. While this path to Unitarian Universalism is certainly well trod, we must not assume a cause and effect relationship between the two. Many adult members of our churches are second, third, or more generation Unitarian Universalists.

We should take a passionate pride in our youth. We should actively embrace them and fight to keep them close to the nest, not out of possessiveness or a sense of control, but to demonstrate our love for them and our desire to retain them as partners in our covenanted community. We must imbue in our youth a desire to stay engaged in our churches, not because we need to maintain our membership rolls or meet our canvass targets, but because we truly believe in the importance of the future of our denomination and the value it provides the lives of its members and society at large.

Sometimes our youth will drift away, not because they reject Unitarian Universalist principles and beliefs, but because they find insufficient gratification in participating in a church community. Some of these youth will eventually return to the church, most likely when they get married or when they have children. Some will not. Some will marry people of other faiths and drift to their church. Others will get caught up in the frenzy of job, family, child rearing, and other activities of young adulthood and will never make time for church. We should work hard to guard these valuable resources in which we have invested so much time and care. We must be sure that they know that their continued active participation in our religious community is one of our highest priorities.

The Bridging Ceremony celebrates the transition of our youth from their high school experience into young adulthood. It is a time of tremendous change – and stress – for our youth. It is a time when many of them will leave our particular church community to travel to other cities, into higher education, into careers, and possibly into new families.

The Bridging Ceremony is a rite of passage that welcomes these bright and energetic people into the rewards and responsibilities of adult life. The bridge has two sides. One is childhood and adolescence, where they have become leaders and role models for their younger friends and acquaintances. The other side is a scary and vast frontier of the unknown, full of boundless opportunities and new challenges. Also on the other side is us. We adult members of this church community stand on the other side with our arms open to hug them, our minds prepared to mentor them, and our hearts prepared to live with them.